ARE YOU INJURED OR IN IMMEDIATE DANGER? CALL 911 NOW
If you were sexually assaulted, you may feel confused and alone. You may not understand what happened to you, or what you can do about it. You may not know who you can tell.
You came to the right place
In the aftermath of a sexual assault, survivors often experience a wide range of reactions and emotions. Responses are very individual, with no two people reacting the same way. There is no “expected” way to react in the aftermath of such a trauma. Survivors may experience shock, numbness, confusion, tears, anger, frustration, guilt, self-blame, loneliness, loss of control, fear, distrust, or anger. All of these are normal reactions to trauma.
You may still be processing what has happened to you. We hear you. Go easy on yourself and give yourself time to recover. Whatever you are feeling, it’s important to know that it’s okay to not feel okay. Most importantly, there is help available. You do not have to go through this alone. And remember, what happened to you is not your fault.
Getting started
This site is designed to provide information and resources in the aftermath of sexual assault. If you believe you are a victim of sexual assault, you may be able to use this site to gather information and make decisions about your next steps.By guiding you through a series of questions, you can start to figure out what options are right for you. You may choose to get in touch with victim services, who can help you through this process, or you may decide to start reporting to authorities.
Meanwhile, you do not have to tell anyone you are looking at this site or provide your name while you are exploring your options.
If you would like to talk with a victim services professional right away, you can contact RAINN, a national sexual assault help line at 800-656-HOPE (4673).
Get immediate help
If you are injured or in immediate danger, try to find a safe place and call 911. Or get someone to call for you. If an emergency response is required, the 911 call operator will stay on the line with you, until a police officer arrives to help you. If you are new to the United States, you should be aware that the police can be called for help and there is no cost to you.
If you are injured or in pain, get medical help right away. You have the right to a medical forensic exam at no cost and you can get medical treatment even if you don’t have enough money or insurance to pay for it. Call 911 if you cannot make it to the hospital on your own.
Talk to a friend or family member
After a sexual assault, most people tell someone what happened, whether it is a friend, family member, or someone else they love or respect. However, some people never tell anyone, and it can contribute to the trauma experienced. Remember, what happened to you is not your fault.However, the decision to tell someone is yours and yours alone. For many people, it can be very helpful to talk to a loved one after they have been sexually assaulted. That person may be able to provide comfort and support, and even help you access other forms of assistance.
How will others respond
For some survivors, it can be hurtful when their loved one doesn’t respond in the way they hoped. Most people don’t understand sexual assault very well, so even if the person loves you very much, they may have an immediate reaction of disbelief, anger, or even blame.
Sometimes it can be helpful to prepare the person how you would like them to respond. For example, you may say something like this:
“I’m about to tell you something very difficult, but I’m worried about how you will respond – so I’m asking you to please just listen to me, and not react right away.”
Contact victim services
In many communities, there are victim service professionals who provide information and support for people who have been sexually assaulted. These professionals are often called “victim advocates,” and they can help by explaining your options, answering your questions, and maybe even going with you to a medical exam or a police interview if you decide to report the sexual assault to law enforcement.
Many survivors find it very helpful to have a victim advocate there to help them understand what is happening and to provide assistance for them and their loved ones.
Victim services can help you
The role of victim services professionals, such as victim advocates, is to provide support and resources for victims of sexual assault. Victim advocates are often available through a 24-hour hotline, such as a rape crisis center or other victim assistance organization, providing around-the-clock services, so they can meet you at the hospital or police department if you decide to report your sexual assault. This means you do not have to be alone.
Victim advocates can also frequently connect you with counseling services, which may be free, or you may be asked to pay for them at a reduced rate based on your annual income. Counseling services can help you to explore your feelings as a result of the sexual assault and help you on the path toward healing.
Are victim services confidential?
Some victim advocates work for a community organization like a rape crisis center, while others work for a government agency like a police department. This is important because it affects what services they can provide, and whether the information you give them will be kept confidential.
Victim advocates who work for a community organization like a rape crisis center focus exclusively on providing services for sexual assault survivors and their loved ones. It does not matter whether you decide to report to law enforcement or not – they can offer you services like information, emotional support, and other types of assistance. Often, they can keep confidential everything you tell them in private, but you should ask them just in case there are any exceptions to this based on state law or other factors. You definitely want to know this before you start providing private information.
Advocates who work for a government agency typically only provide services for victims if they report their sexual assault to law enforcement. Their primary role is to support victims through the process of a law enforcement investigation and possible prosecution. This means they can coordinate with police and prosecutors to help the process run more smoothly, but it also means they usually cannot keep the information you provide them confidential. They may be required to share it with police or prosecutors.
Again, it is best to ask any victim advocate what services they can provide and what information they can keep confidential versus sharing with other professionals. There are also some types of information that any advocates will have to share, like if you are in danger of being hurt – or if they think you might hurt yourself or someone else. To keep you safe, that type of information may need to be provided to law enforcement.
There are many steps a survivor must take on the road to moving forward. Some people find that connecting with victim services or police can help to give them a sense of control and start the healing process. But taking those first steps to speak up can be hard. That’s okay! We understand. By guiding you through a series of questions, we can help you gather information to figure out what options are right for you.
If you are in immediate danger, or injured and needing medical attention, you should call 911 now.
Would you like to continue to the Guided Questions?
Click NEXT to get started…
Is this your first time using the Guided Questions?
If you are returning to the Guided Questions, you can either continue reviewing the information available here, or you can skip ahead and explore your options to get help.
Would you like to skip ahead?
Welcome to EVAWI’s Guided Questions. We are glad you found us.
This is an interactive way for survivors of sexual assault to get more information and consider possible next steps.
When you proceed into this part of the system, some of the topics included in the previous part may be repeated. Be prepared to spend some time going through this part, and you might consider having someone else with you to help you along the way. It may feel like a long process, but this will help you understand any next steps you might want to take.
When someone is sexually assaulted, it can feel like there is nowhere to turn. These Guided Questions can help you gather information and make decisions. While you are using this system, you can remain anonymous.
We want you to remain safe. If there is a danger that other people might discover you are using this resource, we encourage you to stop now and come back using a phone or computer that belongs to somebody else.
Are you ready to begin?
Sexual victimization can turn your world upside-down. The physical and emotional impacts are real. We are sorry this happened to you.
Remember that it was not your fault. You may not feel like you can talk to anyone about it. That is okay! It is good that you found this resource, because you can learn more about what happened and what your options are.
If you are not sure what words to use, to name what happened to you, that is okay.
But it will be helpful to learn as much as possible about your rights and options before you make any decisions. It is also important to understand how to define and describe your circumstances, because that may determine what options are available to you.
Would you like to learn more now?
Sexual victimization can turn your world upside-down. The physical and emotional impacts are real. We are sorry this happened to you.
Remember that it was not your fault. You may not feel like you can talk to anyone about it. That is okay! It is good that you found this resource, because you can learn more about what happened and what your options are.
If you are not sure what words to use, to name what happened to you, that is okay. But it will be helpful to learn as much as possible about your rights and options before you make any decisions. It is also important to understand how to define and describe your circumstances, because that may determine what options are available to you.
Would you like to learn more now?
No matter what happened to you, it is not your fault.
Attempting to commit sexual assault, is also a crime.
You may not understand exactly what happened to you, or the legal terms to describe it, but that is okay.
You can still get help here, and you can decide what options you might want or need.
This resource helps people who have been sexually abused or assaulted to gather information and take action.
If you are the victim of a crime other than sexual abuse or assault, other resources may be more appropriate for you, and we encourage you to get help outside of this system by contacting the local law enforcement agency where the assault happened or a victim services organization in your community.
Do you want to continue gathering information about sexual assault recovery and reporting?
It appears you do not want to continue with the Guided Questions right now. That is okay!
Remember you can come back to this resource later, or you can reach out to law enforcement or a rape crisis center yourself.
You can use the internet to search for help in your area. Or you can contact RAINN, the national sexual assault hotline, at 800-656-HOPE (4673). You can also go to their website at https://www.rainn.org/
Also, if you would like, you can go back to the start of this resource and explore some topics you may have missed or see your options again?
Would you like to do this?
This concludes your conversation with the Guided Questions.
Remember, if you meet with victim services, campus, or law enforcement personnel about your assault, you have the right to ask questions to get the information you need.
You can also ask to have someone else with you whether it is a friend, family member, or an advocate, if you choose to report your assault or reach out for help.
Take very good care of yourself, and consider reaching out to friends or family members for support.
Sometimes, loved ones aren’t sure how to help, but the Start by Believing campaign is a good resource that you might want to refer them to.
You can always come back to this resource again.
When you choose NEXT, you will return to the StartbyBelieving.org webpage.
Remember, there are many resources and people available to help you.
Goodbye.
We know that any conversation about what happened, even with an impersonal system like this, can be very difficult. If you have a friend or family member who knows about the assault, and can provide support while you use this resource, that could ease the process. You are free to continue now, or come back later when you have someone at your side.
We recognize that thinking about what happened to you can be very painful. If it becomes too difficult to answer any question, you can stop at any time and can come back to these questions later, after you’ve taken a break.
People use the term sexual abuse to mean different things. Some use it generally, to describe sexual contact without consent. Others use it for acts committed against children. In some states, sexual abuse is used to describe misdemeanor crimes, while sexual assault is used for felonies.
People also use the term sexual assault in different ways. In general, it describes sexual contact with a person who does not consent, or could not consent at the time of the sexual contact. In some states, sexual assault is used for crimes involving sexual penetration, not just sexual contact.
While people use the term rape to mean different things, it usually refers to sexual penetration with someone who did not consent or could not consent. This means penetration, however slight, of the vagina or anus, with any body part of another person, or an object. It also includes oral sex, if it is not consensual. It also includes non-consensual oral sex.
Rape is only one of several forms of sexual assault that is a crime.
No matter what happened to you, it is not your fault.
Attempting to commit sexual assault, is also a crime.
You may not understand exactly what happened to you, or the legal terms to describe it, but that is okay.
You can still get help here, and you can decide what options you might want or need.
This resource helps people who have been sexually abused or assaulted to gather information and make decisions.
If you are the victim of a crime other than sexual abuse or assault, other resources may be more appropriate for you, and we encourage you to get help outside of this system by contacting the local law enforcement agency where the assault happened or a victim services organization in your community.
Do you want to continue gathering information about sexual assault recovery and reporting?
After a sexual assault, you have a variety of options.
You can call the police at any time. If an officer is dispatched, they will begin the investigation by briefly interviewing you to determine what crimes(s) occurred, and identifying possible witnesses, suspect(s) and locations of evidence.
The officer should also offer to transport you to a facility that can provide a medical forensic exam (often called a rape kit). Even if you choose not to call the police, you have the right to a medical forensic exam free of charge.
During a medical forensic exam, the doctor or nurse will document the information you provide and collect evidence in case you decide to report to law enforcement at a later time.
You can also have victim services professionals help you through this process. They can help answer questions, based on your state laws and local resources.
Regarding medical care, it is important to have a nurse or doctor make sure you are okay. You may have injuries you don’t know about, and you can get treatment for sexually transmitted infections.
If you are concerned, you can get emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy.
Do you want more information about how to get medical care?
You can get medical care from your own doctor, or a hospital or clinic of your choice.
Typically, you will be charged for medical care, but there may be options that are free or available at a reduced rate.
Just keep in mind that your own doctor is probably not trained to collect or document evidence in case you decide to report the assault to law enforcement.
Be sure to talk to your medical provider if you have questions about this. You can also talk with a victim advocate, to help think through your options.
There are some situations where health care providers might be required to report your sexual assault to law enforcement. This is referred to as mandated reporting. For example, in some states, any abuse of a person under age 18 must be reported.
In other states like California, health care professionals are required to report all sexual assaults regardless of the patient’s age, even those without injuries beyond the sexual assault, to law enforcement, and some medical facilities report as a matter of policy, not law.
Do you want more information about mandated reporting?
In some states like California, health care professionals are required to report all sexual assaults regardless of the patient’s age, even those without injuries beyond the sexual assault, to law enforcement, and some medical facilities report as a matter of policy, not law.
Do you want more information about mandated reporting?
If you are under 18, the doctor or nurse might be required to report your sexual assault to law enforcement or Child Protective Services. This might depend on your age as well as the relationship with the person who sexually assaulted you and whether they might continue to hurt you. For example, if the person lives with you, or is a teacher or coach.
They might also have to tell your parents, even if you can get medical care on your own. It is important to get medical care, because you need to make sure you are okay.
If you are over 18, depending on state laws and the type of assault, many health care providers do not have to report your sexual assault to law enforcement. Some states require mandated reporting if a weapon is used or if you are seriously injured.
Other states like California require health care professionals to report all sexual assaults to law enforcement even if there is no injury beyond the sexual assault, and some medical facilities contact police as a matter of policy, and not law.
Also, health care providers may be required to report sexual assault to Adult Protective Services and/or Law Enforcement in circumstances where an adult victim is vulnerable due to age or disability. Even if your assault is reported to law enforcement by a mandated reporter, you do not have to talk with the officer or participate in the investigation.
If you are concerned about a mandated report to law enforcement or other authority, you can tell the health care provider you would like treatment for unprotected sex.
It is up to you to disclose whether you were sexually assaulted. You can discuss any of your concerns and your options with victim services professionals.
You have the right to a special exam, called a medical forensic exam (often called a “rape kit”), to collect evidence and document any injuries. Do you want more information about a medical forensic exam?
If you have a medical forensic exam, a nurse or doctor will make sure you are okay and conduct special evidence procedures in case you report to police. The exam is free, but generally, it should be done within 3-10 days of your sexual assault depending on community protocols, in order to address any injuries you may have, and for the best chance of collecting evidence.
Having an exam doesn’t mean you have to report to police. You can make that decision later, and any evidence will be stored safely and confidentially. But, if you wait more than about five days, it could mean that you won’t be able to have evidence collected.
Even after 5 days, you should still see a doctor or nurse to make sure you are okay, and to get testing or treatment for sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
You can get a medical forensic exam by going to the hospital Emergency Room, contacting police, or calling a rape crisis center. The exam is free, but there may be additional costs if you need medical testing or treatment for injuries beyond the sexual assault.
If you report to police, and participate in the investigation, these additional costs can usually be covered by the state Crime Victim Compensation program. Victim services professionals can help you apply for that reimbursement.
You can bring someone with you to the exam, whether it is a friend, family member, or victim services professionals. Keep in mind that sometimes friends and loved ones aren’t sure how to help.
To help them better understand what you may be going through, you may wish to refer them to the Start by Believing website.
Do you want to learn more about preparing for the medical forensic exam?
First, the nurse or doctor will ask questions about what happened to you. Then the physical exam will begin, which may include a vaginal or anal exam, depending on the type of sexual assault.
The doctor or nurse will swab your body for potential evidence, such as DNA, and they may request a blood or urine sample. They will take photographs and may collect your clothing. But nothing will happen unless you agree.
You can say no to any or all procedures and stop the exam at any time.
If you plan to have an exam, it is best not to shower, bathe, or douche, if you have not already done so.
But do not worry if you have. Evidence might still be available, and the exam involves much more than just collecting evidence.
If you can, bring the clothes you wore during and immediately after the assault. They will be collected as evidence. But if they are not available, that is okay.
If you decide to report your assault to law enforcement, and they respond to your home, the officer should collect your clothing as well as other types of evidence if for example, the sexual assault occurred at the location the officer responds to.
If you are not sure whether you want to have a medical forensic exam, keep the clothes you wore during and immediately after the assault. Put each item in a separate paper bag, not plastic. You can talk with victim services professionals if you want help figuring out what to do.
You have the option of reporting the incident to police and participating in an investigation. This is the only way to take steps to hold offenders accountable in the criminal justice system.
If you plan to report, it is best to do it as soon as possible. That way, police have the best opportunity to gather information and evidence.
If you are under 18 years old, there are other important details about reporting that apply to you. Are you under 18?
You have the option of reporting the incident to police and participating in an investigation. This is the only way to take steps to hold offenders accountable in the criminal justice system.
If you plan to report, it is best to do it as soon as possible. That way, police have the best opportunity to gather information and evidence.
If you are under 18 years old, there are other important details about reporting that apply to you. Are you under 18?
If you are under 18 years old, you can report to police on your own, with a parent, or other loved one. This is the only way to take steps to hold the offender accountable in the criminal justice system.
However, if you are under 18, there are certain people who might have to tell the police if they believe you were sexually assaulted. This includes teachers, legal guardians, coaches, doctors, nurses, and others. If a report is made to them, you may then be contacted by a police officer, but you can choose whether you want to talk to the officer or participate in an investigation.
If you want to talk with someone without a report being made, you can call a rape crisis hotline and talk with victim services professionals and not tell them your name or how old you are.
If you decide to report your sexual assault, you can contact a law enforcement agency by calling the non-emergency number for your local police department or go to the police station if you prefer.
If you are in danger or in need of medical attention, you should call 9-1-1.
Even if you were assaulted in another city or state, your local police department can still help by taking what is referred to as a courtesy report.
Do you want more information about the process of reporting to law enforcement?
If you decide to report your sexual assault, you can contact a law enforcement agency by calling the non-emergency number for your local police department or go to the police station if you prefer.
If you are in danger or in need of medical attention, you should call 9-1-1.
Even if you were assaulted in another city or state, your local police department can still help by taking what is referred to as a courtesy report.
Do you want more information about the process of reporting to law enforcement?
You can call the police at any time. If an officer is dispatched, they will begin the investigation by briefly interviewing you to determine what crimes occurred, and identifying possible witnesses, suspect(s) and locations of evidence.
The officer should also offer to transport you to a facility that can provide a medical forensic exam (sometimes called a rape kit). Even if you choose not to call the police, you have the right to a medical forensic exam free of charge.
During a medical forensic exam, the doctor or nurse will document the information you provide and collect evidence in case you decide to report to law enforcement at a later time.
You have the right to ask any questions about what is happening during an investigation, and to bring someone with you when you meet with police, whether it is victim services staff, a friend, or a loved one.
In some states, victims have the right to have an advocate or support person of their choice present during any follow-up interviews. Even if state law doesn’t provide this right, you have the right to ask for a victim advocate or support person to be present during the interview.
What does an investigation look like? An investigator will talk with you, any witnesses, anyone you told about the assault, and the person who did this to you.
The investigation may also include collecting other items, such as physical objects (clothing, bedding, etc.) and digital information (security videos, cell phone records, text messages, etc.).
Your cell phone might be needed temporarily, to gather information before returning the phone to you. You don’t have to hand over these items, but they might be important evidence.
Victim services staff can help you make decisions that are best for you. The investigator will review the medical forensic exam report if one is available, including photographs of any injuries that may have been taken and are available, and they will run criminal history checks on parties related to the sexual assault.
As the investigator learns more about the sexual assault as the investigation unfolds, you may be contacted for additional information or to clarify something learned during the ongoing investigation.
If you are going to report the incident to law enforcement, it is best to do it as soon as you can.
But, even if you are not able to report right away, they can still investigate your assault.
For each crime there is a certain amount of time to prosecute the person who did it. This is called the statute of limitations.
The timeline varies by the type of crime and the state where it occurred. For example, there is a longer period of time allowed to prosecute more serious crimes.
This is just one reason why it is best to report the crime sooner rather than later, if you are able. You can get information about the statute of limitations from law enforcement or victim services professionals.
Great job on getting through this information. We understand that trying to figure out what to do in the aftermath of a sexual assault can be very difficult.
For many survivors, reporting the crime can help them recover and feel more in control over what is going on in their lives. For many others, they do not need to engage the criminal justice process in order to heal. Everyone reacts differently, and that’s okay.
The purpose of these questions is to help you feel prepared with information and resources, so that you can make choices that are right for you.
If you are a student or an employee at a public school or college, you have certain rights under federal law. These rights also may apply if the person who assaulted you is a student or school employee.
Do you want to get more information about Title IX rights and options on campus?
If you are going to report the incident to law enforcement, it is best to do it as soon as you can.
But, even if you are not able to report right away, they can still investigate your assault.
For each crime there is a certain amount of time to prosecute the person who did it. This is called the statute of limitations.
The timeline varies by the type of crime and the state where it occurred. For example, there is a longer period of time allowed to prosecute more serious crimes.
This is just one reason why it is best to report the crime sooner rather than later, if you are able. You can get information about the statute of limitations from law enforcement or victim services professionals.
Great job on getting through this information. We understand that trying to figure out what to do in the aftermath of a sexual assault can be very difficult.
For many survivors, reporting the crime can help them recover and feel more in control over what is going on in their lives. For many others, they do not need to engage the criminal justice process in order to heal. Everyone reacts differently, and that’s okay.
The purpose of these questions is to help you feel prepared with information and resources, so that you can make choices that are right for you.
If you are a student or an employee at a public school or college, you have certain rights under federal law. These rights also may apply if the person who assaulted you is a student or school employee.
Do you want to get more information about Title IX rights and options on campus?
It is against the law to discriminate against someone based on their sex, at any school that receives federal funding.
This includes public schools (K-12), colleges, and universities. This law is often called “Title IX” (nine), and all public schools, colleges and universities, vocational schools and other schools must have a Title IX office or coordinator to help address sex discrimination, including sexual assault and sexual harassment.
Campuses are required to work to prevent these problems and respond appropriately to victims.
If you are a student or employee of a public school, college, or university, there may be free and confidential services available to you on campus, including health care and counseling. You may choose to use these campus services, or services in the community, or both.
If the person who harmed you is a student or employee, you can also report the incident to the Title IX office on that campus. If the person is found responsible, they might be disciplined.
When you report to a Title IX office, they may start an investigation. If you do not want an investigation, your best option may be to reach out to victim services.
If you are in the military, or are a dependent of a military service member, you have some specific rights and options.
Do you want to hear a summary of those options?
When you report to a Title IX office, they may start an investigation. If you do not want an investigation, your best option may be to reach out to victim services.
If you are in the military, or are a dependent of a military service member, you have some specific rights and options.
Do you want to hear a summary of those options?
U.S. Department of Defense (DOD) policy gives service members two reporting options. A Restricted Report, or an Unrestricted Report.
The DOD also offers the SafeHelpLine.org as an anonymous and confidential telephone or web resource.
Later in the program, we will give you more information about these options. Then if you choose to report you can connect to the Safe Help Line.
If you were sexually assaulted at work, or by a supervisor or co-worker, you have certain rights under employment law.
Do you want to hear more information about this?
If you were sexually assaulted at work, or by a supervisor or co-worker, you have certain rights under employment law.
Do you want to hear more information about this?
If the incident fits any of the legal definitions described earlier, then it can be reported to law enforcement and investigated, to determine if it can be criminally prosecuted. Later in the program, you will be given the option connect directly with law enforcement.
You can also use the reporting process at work to start an internal investigation.
You may even be able to file a civil lawsuit, because this is a form of sex discrimination that is covered by federal civil rights. This requires hiring a lawyer.
If you are affiliated with a sports organization that is under the U.S. Olympics or Paralympic movement, you have an additional option for reporting.
Do you want to get more information about this?
The U.S. Olympic Committee formed the SafeSport program to address emotional and physical child abuse, bullying, hazing, harassment, and all sexual misconduct within its domain.
They created the U.S. Center for SafeSport to focus on responding to sexual misconduct in all Olympic sports. This includes National Governing Bodies like USA Swimming, USA Gymnastics, USA Wrestling, and U.S. Paralympics.
If conduct is criminal, it violates the SafeSport Code. However, the SafeSport Center only serves as the enforcement and reporting authority when the issue involves sexual misconduct.
For all other types of misconduct, the sports organization that issued applicable policy is the authority for reports.
For the SafeSport Center, sexual misconduct includes any criminal or policy violation that is sexual in nature. This includes unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors, verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature.
If the behavior does not meet any of the prior definitions given for rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse (for example, if it only involves sexual comments or jokes, but no physical contact), then you can contact SafeSport directly at https://safesport.org/.
Reporting to SafeSport might lead to sanctions for the person who did it. You may also be able to file a civil lawsuit. This requires hiring a lawyer, who can explain the process to you.
If you are not the person who was sexually assaulted, you should not contact police or victim services without the consent of the victim.
Are you the one who was sexually assaulted?
If you are not the person who was sexually assaulted, you should not contact police or victim services without the consent of the victim.
Even if you are the parent of a teenager who was sexually assaulted, it is best to let them decide what options they want to choose. If a report is made, law enforcement will need to talk with the victim, not just you, and forcing victims to do this against their will can be harmful.
Sometimes this can be hard for loved ones to hear, but even if we think we know what is best for them, sexual assault victims need to make their own decisions about what to do.
Are you the one who was sexually assaulted?
Do you want to hear more about the best ways to help a sexual assault victim?
The best way to help someone who was sexually assaulted is to start by believing when they tell you what happened.
They might be afraid you won’t believe them, or that you will blame them for what happened.
They might even be afraid that you will get angry or try to hurt the person who did this to them.
It is important to just listen to them, and offer support, even when everything they say does not make sense to you.
Sometimes you may not know what to say, or you may be afraid that you will say the wrong thing. The best messages are the simplest ones, like “I believe you”, “I’m sorry this happened,” and “How can I help?”
Just allow them to speak openly and listen without judging what they are saying. Tell them you believe them. Let them decide how much to tell you. Ask how you can help, and let them know you are there for them.
Offer to go with them to the hospital, or rape crisis center, or police department, if they want you to.
Remember that sexual assault is traumatic, and that might make it hard for them to think clearly about what happened. Keep this in mind, because you may be confused by what they tell you, and the details may change.
It is important to believe what they are saying so you can help them get through and make their own decisions about what to do.
One good way to do this is to encourage them to use these Guided Questions. That way they can get their own information and decide how to take action.
Also, if you would like, you can go back to the start of Start by Believing website and explore some topics you may have missed or see your options again?
Would you like to do this?
This concludes your conversation with the Guided Questions. You will now be returned to the Start by Believing website. Goodbye.
In just a moment, we will ask some simple questions to help determine what options are available to you.
Click NEXT when you are ready to start exploring the options you have for requesting help.
You have the right to a special exam, called a medical forensic exam (often called a “rape kit”), to collect evidence and document any injuries. Do you want more information about a medical forensic exam?
Are you a military service member or military dependent?
Do you want to hear about reporting options that apply to U.S. military service members and their dependents?
Do you work or go to school at a college or university?
If the campus you are associated with has a Title IX Coordinator, do you want to know about that option?
Do you want to know what victim services options might be available to you?
Do you also want to get options for reporting to law enforcement?
Since you indicated you are either active military or a military dependent, we will give you those options now.
Department of Defense policy gives service members two reporting options: A Restricted Report or an Unrestricted Report.
The military also offers the Safe Help Line as an anonymous online chat and confidential telephone resource.
To help you learn more about your options and the differences between restricted and unrestricted reporting, you may wish to call the Safe Help Line at: 1-877-955-5247 or go to, SafeHelpLine.org for more information.
If the assault occurred off base, you can report it to a civilian law enforcement agency. However, the military might still find out about the investigation.
For example, in some states like California, health care providers must report to law enforcement if a patient was sexually assaulted. This report could be made to military police, which will then be Unrestricted.
You can discuss these options confidentially with victim services staff in a civilian rape crisis center, or at the Safe Help Line.
Do you want to learn more about the confidential option for Restricted reporting?
Do you want to learn more about Unrestricted Reporting?
A Restricted Report allows you to obtain services within the military, without triggering an investigation. Notably, Restricted Reporting offers no way to prosecute or discipline an offender for what they did to you.
You can get medical care, a forensic medical exam, victim services, and counseling. However, there are some things you cannot get, like a military protective order or an expedited transfer, although a safety assessment will be conducted.
A Restricted Report can only be made to certain personnel: SAPR Victim Advocate (VA), Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC), Health Care Provider, or Chaplain.
If you tell anyone else about your sexual assault, it may result in an Unrestricted Report and an investigation.
Even with a Restricted Report, some information will be provided to the installation commander. This includes your age, gender, grade, component, status, location, and the type of assault. It does not include your name or the identity of the offender.
The purpose is to provide your installation commander with information about what is happening in the unit, to help create a safer environment for everyone.
Do you want to learn more about Unrestricted Reporting?
An Unrestricted Report starts the investigative process, which is the only way to potentially prosecute or discipline an offender. It is also the only way for a victim to obtain a military protective order or an expedited transfer, although a safety assessment will be conducted.
You can make an Unrestricted Report through any standard reporting channel, including: a Commander, SAPR Victim Advocate (VA), Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC), Health Care Provider, Law Enforcement / Military Criminal Investigation Organization (MCIO).
You can change a Restricted Report to an Unrestricted Report at any time, and an investigation will begin. But once a report is Unrestricted, it can never go back to being Restricted.
Do you want to proceed with an Unrestricted Report using the DOD Safe Help Line?
Do you want to proceed with an Unrestricted Report using the DOD Safe Help Line?
The DOD Safe Help Line phone number is: 877-995-5247.
Would you like to move on to explore your options for help outside of the military?
Would you like to move on to explore your options for help outside of the military?
This concludes your conversation with our Guided Questions.
Remember, if you meet with victim services, campus, or law enforcement personnel about your assault, you have the right to ask questions to get the information you need.
You can also ask to have someone else with you whether it is a friend, family member, or an advocate, if you choose to report your assault or reach out for help.
Take very good care of yourself and consider reaching out to friends or family members for support.
Sometimes, loved ones aren’t sure how to help and the Start by Believing campaign is a good resource that you might want to refer them to.
You can always come back to this resource again.
When you choose NEXT, you will return to the Find Help start page.
Remember, there are many resources and people available to help you.
Goodbye.
Title IX civil rights law prohibits sexual discrimination in education and requires schools that receive federal funding to be proactive in prevention and responsive to sexual assault survivors.
There may be a range of services available to you on campus, including health care, counseling, a campus ombudsperson, and a student judicial system. You may choose to utilize the services that are available on campus, or in the community, or both.
You might want to check your campus website and reach out to them directly to understand any special support options you may have.
If you work or go to school on a college campus, you should review your campus-specific options.
You can also connect with law enforcement or victim services off-campus. For example, if you were away from school, you can get help in your home city.
Do you want to review your off-campus options?
The role of victim services professionals, such as victim advocates, is to provide support and resources for victims of sexual assault. Victim advocates are often available through a 24-hour hotline, such as a rape crisis center or other victim assistance organization, providing around-the-clock services, so they can meet you at the hospital or police department if you decide to report your sexual assault. This means you don’t have to be alone.
Victim advocates can also frequently connect you with counseling services, which may be free, or you may be asked to pay for them at a reduced rate based on your annual income. Counseling services can help you to explore your feelings as a result of the sexual assault and help you on the path toward healing.
Would you like to connect with a victim services professional through the RAINN hotline?
To talk with a victim services professional right away, you can contact RAINN, a national sexual assault helpline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).
You can also visit the RAINN website at https://www.rainn.org/ to find a victim services organization in your area.
Would you like to review your options for reporting to law enforcement now?
You have the option of reporting what happened to police. This is the only way to hold someone responsible in the criminal justice system. Reporting to police is an individual decision and we recognize that might not be what is best for everyone. The decision to report your assault to the police is yours alone. You will not get into trouble if you choose not to report the crime to police. If you do wish to report the crime and need an interpreter, let the police officer know. An interpreter can be made available to you.
If you plan to report, it is best to do it as soon as possible. That way, police have a better chance at gathering information and evidence. During the reporting process, you have the right to ask questions, and you can bring someone with you, whether it is a friend, family member, or victim services staff.
Keep in mind that making a police report about your assault is not the same as pressing charges. Once you report the crime to police, and the assault is investigated, the suspect may or may not be arrested. After a thorough investigation, the report may be referred to the prosecutor’s office, who will decide whether to charge the suspect with a crime (sometimes called “pressing charges.”) If the suspect is charged with a crime, the information you provided in your report will be shared with others in the criminal justice system, including the judge and defense attorney.
You can report the assault to police at any time, even if it has been weeks, months, or years since the assault occurred. In some jurisdictions, there is a statute of limitations which may prevent the prosecutor from filing charges. However, even if the assault is beyond the statute of limitations, it can be helpful to report because many perpetrators offend more than once and information about your sexual assault may be helpful to investigators working other cases.
If you are under 18, there are certain people who might have to tell the police if they believe you were sexually assaulted. This includes teachers, coaches, legal guardians, doctors, nurses, and others. If a report is made, you may be contacted by a police officer, but you can choose whether you want to participate in an investigation. Depending on the circumstances, an investigation can take place without your participation, but it usually doesn’t happen this way. This is more likely if there are significant injuries, if the perpetrator poses an ongoing threat to the community or if the perpetrator has committed more than one sexual assault. If you want to talk with someone without a report being made, you can talk with victim services staff and not tell them your name or how old you are.
Would you like to learn more about the investigative process?
After the police receive your initial report, the typical next step is for them to contact you for a more detailed interview and to begin the process of a thorough investigation.
You have the right to ask any questions about what is happening during an investigation, and to bring someone with you when you meet with police, whether it is victim services staff, a friend, or a loved one. In some states, victims have the right to have an advocate or support person of their choice present during any follow-up interviews. Even if state law doesn’t provide this right, you have the right to ask for an advocate or support person to be present during the interview.
Would you like to learn more about what an investigation looks like?
Would you like to learn more about what an investigation looks like?
Typically, an investigator will talk with you, any witnesses, anyone you told about the assault, and the person who did this to you. The investigation may also include collecting other items, such as physical objects (clothing, bedding, etc.) and digital information (security videos, cell phone records, text messages, etc.). Your cell phone might be needed temporarily, to gather information before returning the phone to you. You don’t have to hand over these items, but they might be important evidence. Victim services staff can help you make decisions that are best for you. The investigator will review the medical forensic exam report if one is available, including photographs of any injuries that may have been taken and are available, and they will run criminal history checks on parties related to the sexual assault. As the investigator learns more about the sexual assault as the investigation unfolds, you may be contacted for additional information or to clarify something learned during the ongoing investigation.
Would you like to hear your options for contacting the police?
Would you like to hear your options for contacting the police?
You can contact police by calling 911, or you can go to the police department.
This could be:
a city police department
a county sheriff’s office
school campus police
military police
The local police department can assist you even if you were assaulted in another city or state.
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